Testing Me or Just Being a Kid

How I Met Your Mother, had an episode several years ago that featured a made up gamed called "Drink or a Kid. Simple premise, the characters told stories of horrendously stupid things that had done, and everyone else had to decide whether or not they did this while drunk, or when they were a kid.

Most escapades were typical: driving the wrong way down an one way street, roller skating off the roof, drying off fire crackers in the microwave.


AS a foster parent it is often difficult to tell whether or not a child's bad decision is them deliberatly testing you, a result of their condition as a foster kid, or them being stupid (unwise is the nice word but I am not in a good mood).

Snow White has had a rough week behavior wise. SHe is pitching fits, screaming, and not getting her work done in school.

A byproduct of this week being grandparent visit week? Or because she is six and being a bit bratty?


Mulan, despite countless conversations, having a boyfriend at the time, professing to want to have a career, has unprotected sex several weeks ago.

Leaving the pregnancy test where I can find it to see if we will stick by her? Or being too dumb to know to use protection and to NOT HAVE SEX WITH LOSER GUYS?

I am just so scared. Here I am, unable to protect Snow White from the system. I have to watch as a judge decides whether or not he will let her future be ruined by her biological family.

And on the other hand, I am watching Mulan make self destructive decisions and I can't protect her from herself.

I prayed today. I said "God I have only had her for 3 months. It isn't enough time. Don't let her life be ruined when I haven't had a chance to change its course."

I don't know what else to pray for.

I read over this and it is so negative, so filled with my pain and hurts and worries.

And yet had I foreseen this day, I wouldn't change any decision we made. I would still foster. I would still choose to take all of this on.

Because they need us so badly. If we weren't here, who knows where Mulan would have ended up. Who knows how many homes Snow White would have been in. And who knows? Maybe we all will pass the test.