I Was Going to Tell You

I was going to tell you about being an overwhelmed and busy foster parent.

I was going to tell you all about the angst of looking at a reading score and thinking first "THis will show the court that she belongs here" instead of "Snow White is doing such an awesome job!"

I was going to tell you about changing my time budget, and budgeting time to enjoy my kids, instead of just worrying about them.

But I think you would rather hear about the convo I had with Mulan on Sunday. NOw to be clear, Mulan has had a sh*t life. It has given her nothing but pain, and the expectation of pain. And yet she is not selfish. She is not only self aware.

We were talking about what the beginning of 2016 might be like. She will be officially adopted, and if things go the right way, we will be in the process of adopting Snow White. I was telling her that I was going to be ready for a break; ready for a time for our family to just... be still and enjoy eachother. "I want to take a year off", I told her.

She snorted in exasperation as only 18-year-olds can do, and tells me that a year is way too much time. 6 months is reasonable, but a year is self indulgent.

WE talked about adopting other kids, about fostering and the upheaval in our lives, and she told me that as long as she was the oldest, to foster and adopt as many as possible.

I can't tell you what it feels like to have her permission. To know that this precious child who could be completely turned inward and wanting everything focused on her, is the one encouraging ME to go and do my work.

God chose well when He sent her to me.