4 days of silence; 3 hours of craziness.

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Hubby and I took what might be our last trip (just the 2 of us) for a couple of years. The phone was silent all weekend, and then today (Monday) the silence was broken. 

At around 3 I got a call for respite, which I said no to right away. Lots of foster parents enjoy respite.... but I am so ready to give my heart and soul to some precious baby that I can't have a child for only a couple of days. 

Then at 3:30 Hubby got a phone call for a 5 year-old girl from a couple of counties away. Her history is truly heartbreaking, and her parents are apparently a little unstable. While I was talking to Jenny the placement specialist*, Hubby got another phone call.... FOR ANOTHER PLACEMENT.  This little girl is 6 and from our county. Her case is simpler and her parents are going to probably be in a state funded facility for the foreseeable future. We had to say yes to one and no to the other..... We chose the little girl from our county. 

I was so excited! I ran to Wal*Mart, bought a bunch of kid snacks and some sugary cereal. We waited for placement to call us back and tell us they were on their way... only to be disappointed.

Placement called us back to tell us that they had found a relative placement for her. Why they called us before they called her grandparents I don't know. I was so pissed. We explained to these placement folks that saying yes to them meant saying no to another child.... and they let us do that even though they hadn't researched her immediate family. I was certain that we had just gone from possibly two babies to none. 

However, God works in wonderful ways and we were able to get back in touch with Jenny the placement lady about the 5 year old and she is coming to our home tomorrow!!!! We officially have our first placement. As long as there are no more curve balls (foster parents are out there laughing at my optimism because foster care consists of ONLY curve balls)we will have our first little girl tomorrow. 

Her case is going to be tricky. Apparently, her parents are extremely difficult, which is why our agency has decided to move her a couple of counties away from them. According to the placement specialist, her parents have a terrible relationship with her current foster parents. It is so bad, that our agency has decided that we need to be completely insulated from bio mom and dad. According to Jenny the placement lady, our agency doesn't even want us to meet bio-parents. However, I will have to drive one county over at least 3 times a week for visits and therapy. 

I am not sure what the next couple of weeks will hold. I am so excited and terrified at the same time. There are a million things going through my head:

"Will we be able to give her what she needs?" 
"Will her parents stalk us?" 
"Will she fit in with our extended family?"
"DO 5-year-olds still take naps?" 
"Should I buy some tear free shampoo?"
"Will she be afraid of my dogs?"


The only thing keeping me calm is my faith that God wants us to have her, and for whatever reason, He thinks that she belongs with us. 

I hope He knows what he is doing.... cuz I am not sure I do. 



*From now on all names will be fake ones. I have to call people something, but I also needs to protect everyone's privacy.