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Friday, December 5, 2014

Goodbye to Ariel: Update

So the miracle we prayed for happened and Ariel was excited about the pending move. WE made sure to focus on the fact that she would be with her brother and sisters, and that seemed to be the correct focus.


She does get nervous and quiet when she focuses on the fact that she will have new parents and a new home. Her first questions was "is it forever"?

Once again these children's need for permanency is overwhelming.

This morning she was extremely clingy and hyper. I am wondering if she will crash, or if she will stay excited.


I have no idea what Snow White feels about the situation. When we told her she asked why she had to stay (heart tore at the use of "have to stay) and Ariel gets to leave. We explained that Ariel WAS NOT returning to her original home, but was going to another foster home. She was quiet for a long time, and then began distracting herself with a toy and went to bed.

She did ask if we would ever get another little girl to live with us. We said yes, eventually we will, though we will take some time. We have decided to not take a placement until Snow White's case is decided. That should be in April. (emphasis on SHOULD BE)

How it will work:

Hubby spoke with Kids in Crisis last night and they are an advocate for easing a child into a new home. Ariel will visit once or twice, spend the night, and will then move in. She will spend CHristmas with us, and then have another Christmas with her new family. I feel a lot better about this and I am excited that we get to see her new home and get a feel for her new foster parents.

Truth be told I am a little jealous. THey will get to have her for a while. They will earn her love and trust. They will be the ones who celebrate her birthday. They will be the ones to kiss the boo boos, who influence decision making, who will be the priority in her life.

Yes I am jealous.

Jesus is probably disappointed in me, but I honestly don't care.

Yes I am angry.


I am angry that I let myself get used to this routine and now it is going away. I am angry that I don't get to be her mommy forever.

I am angry that I won't be in her life at all.

I am pissed.

I am sad.

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