Wish I had something nice to say

Ariel's transition has been a disaster.


We never should have been told that she was moving in December

She is still with us, which is nice for me, but has created emotional problems for her.


Her caseworker is full of excuses and blame for others.


To sum up, here is an edited copy of the email that my husband sent out today. It is responding to her email that suggested that our expectations, and the new home was to blame.... but that she held no responsibility. The quoted sentences are her words in various email to us.

Leslie,

I believe you are misinterpreting the source of our frustration. As foster parents, we realize that transitioning a child from one placement to another is both tricky for the agency and emotionally difficult on the child. Her crying, questioning and anxious behavior is in no way a surprise to us and was expected once we learned her placement would be moved.

Unfortunately, however, we are not the ones that have to deal with the consequences of poor decisions; that burden falls on Ariel. While Ariel living with her siblings is probably the best thing for her in the long run,  “Most of the time we don’t get this much notice” and “Our agency is not licensing this home” are not acceptable excuses for putting any child, and especially one in Ariel’s position, through more uncertainty and emotional turmoil than necessary. Without concrete knowledge of when a transition will occur, suggesting that we “let her know now to get her prepared to transition from your home and into the home with her” is damaging advice. In addition, giving a time line that the transition has no exact date but “will definitely be toward the end of the month,” without being certain of that information, is thoughtless at best.

This is the source of our frustration and I suggest that, in the future, extra time be taken to ensure a smooth transition for the child. It would have been much better for Ariel had we not tried to rush her transition and instead allowed ample time for a smooth transition to occur. She certainly didn’t need to know she was moving “toward the end of the month” if we didn’t know for sure that was true. Ariel is too young to advocate for herself, so I will say this for her: She deserves a much better effort than what she's been given so far.

As for communication about the transition, we have already been in contact with the HER NEW HOME multiple times to determine an appropriate course of action. Since you cannot “give any information regarding the issues or set backs,” a quick phone call to HER NEW HOME revealed that they were having a problem with the fire inspector repeatedly failing the fire inspection. They believe the issue was not code related but that the inspector was being petty. The cost of fixing the issue in the way the inspector wanted was very high so they were trying to work out a compromise and get the problem corrected in a more economical way. In addition, the HER NEW HOME stated that they had hoped the transition would happen sooner and were surprised that the agency suggested we let Ariel know about the transition without a firm plan in place.

The issue with the fire inspection seems to have been cleared up, however, and the home, as I understand it, is now licensed. Please let placement know that we would like enough time to have Ariel meet her new foster parents, pick out a room, etc… before we do the official move. A week should be enough time. We will continue to work with the HER NEW HOME to transition Ariel in the best way possible.