Lessons

Last night I left class angry.  The more I learn about the legal system, the procedures for our state, and agency policy, I realize one thing: I can't count on any of them to do what is best for the kids. 

I guess by now I shouldn't be surprised. No one looks out for these kids. Not the schools, hospitals..... not anyone. 

As I have mentioned before, there is something called a "case-plan" that goes with every child. It is just a document detailing the goals for the child and their parents. In order for the parent to get their child back, they have to complete a list of tasks: parenting classes, getting a job, completing a drug/alcohol program etc. If they don't finish this laundry list of items, the case-plan will go to 

LASt night I found out the NOW judges aren't even really sticking to the 9 month limit. If that have the "majority" of it done at 9 months the judges figure "good enough".


Maybe tomorrow I will realize that the lesson I should learn from this is that God is the only one I can count on to take care of these kids.

Maybe that isn't such a bad thing.

So I am lame and haven't written in a while.
 And there is so much going on! One of the most exciting things about to happen is the husband and I are about to be a part of the Royal Family Kids Camp. This is a camp just for children in the foster system. Hubby and I are going to be counselors! We found out through a friend that their church was starting this camp with 34 hours of deciding to research foster care. We took it as a sign and interviewed and became camp counselors.

If you want to know more about what this amazing camp does, and how it changes the lives of kids who believed that no one loved or wanted them, check out this link http://royalfamilykids.org/about/our-history/.

We took part in a weekend long training last weekend, and we were definitely ahead of the curve since we have received so much training in our PRIDE classes. We head out in June and I simply can't wait to go there and see what God has planned for us. I totally believe we are meant to do this, and I also believe it will make us better foster parents.

We only have two weeks of classes left on our PRIDE classes. Last week they went over discipline and I wanted to scream a little. I am TOTALLY ON BOARD with not spanking a foster child. They have been abused, sometimes severely, and will never be able to see spanking as anything other than abuse. I will never spank a foster child.
But oh my word this woman was a little crazy when it came to discipline. She began the session by asking "If a child gets in trouble at school, and receives discipline, should they also be disciplined at home?'

She totally expected us to say no.
We didn't.
There are three teachers in our class and everyone of us gave an emphatic "yes they should!"

It went downhill from there.

To be fair, not all of it was crazy. I think in our case, listening and understanding where behaviors and feelings are coming from is going to be more important than ever. But it is something that I have had to learn to do as a teacher (since I have no idea why they come to school moody, with no pencils and no work done) so I think we will be able to do that for all of our children.


Things are moving along and the house is slowly coming together. I will post more about the house, our checklist of foster care approved changes, and the Foster Shower my mother is throwing us next week.

 

Class Three

 Class three was interesting to say the least. We were short by one couple: the couple my hubby pegged to be the first to chicken out. 

I use the phrase "chicken out" but honestly.... I think they are the only normal/non-desperate ones (were fit in the non-normal category if anyone was wondering ;) ) in the class. It is interesting to see the dynamic of people who want to be foster parents. I mentioned the older couple who is trying to take care of their granddaughter who is currently living in Virginia. I like them more and more, and hope there is a happy ending to their story. 

There are a couple of people doing something called child specific adoption. They already have the kids living with them (they were a relative/friend placement) and are going through the class so that they can officially adopt their specific kids.

We have two single women wanting to become foster parents. One is a sweet girl who wants to help her community.

The other girl is interesting. SHe is a caseworker and wants to foster teenagers. Basically she rocks. 

We have one lesbian couple who are looking to adopt. They are both super sweet and I hope they find kids soon.

The last lady is a bit of a question mark. She is single and seems to be very lonely. I hope she finds a kid who is a good fit for her.



This week we really started to get into the nitty gritty stuff. They discussed how trauma and abuse can cause behavior issues and developmental delays. I can't tell you how much reading other blogs helped prepare me for this. Every situation that we discussed last night has been covered in one blog or another. 
I can't tell you how important it has been to me to not be surprised by all the things we are hearing in class. THe most important thing to remember about child behavior is something that any teacher can tell you... it is all about the parents. Any questions I have ever had about a child have been answered upon meeting the parent. With these kids... we are dealing with the crappiest of the crappiest examples of parents out there, so their kids will behave accordingly. And it won't be their fault.

Remind me in years to come that I said all that.