They Are Never Going To Change

I read other Foster Blogs or talk to other Foster Parents, and they talk about loving the bio families, and their "mission" to put families back together.

I am beginning to feel guilty that it isn't like that for me (yet). With Ariel, we never met her mother, though I do hope and pray that she can turn away from abusive men and be the mother that her kids deserve. However, engaging her was never something that I felt moved to do.

Then there is Snow White's family. And I will be honest as you will judge me from your homes instead of in front of me. I WANT them to screw up. I am so convinced that they will never change, that I almost worry that they will get better. How crazy is that?

For example: right now it is about a doll. Two weeks ago, they promised Snow White this expensive doll that she wants. She has seen them 4 times since then and each time they promise her that she will get it on the "next visit."

This is what they do. They make these outlandish promises to make their kids happy with them and then never follow through.

Here is the awful part though. I hope they don't follow through. I hope tomorrow comes and she doesn't get that doll. #1 Because it will prove that I am right and they are incapable of change and #2 Hubby and I will go and get her the damn doll.

I can lace this situation up in all sorts of pretty ways. I can phrase my feeling like "All I want is for Snow White is for her to be in a safe home" or "Snow White needs to be a priority before she goes home" or "Mom and Dad have a lot to prove before they get my vote" or even "based on their history, I am more than skeptical."

But when it comes down to it I am rooting for a family to fall apart.

Why? Because I know inside that it is Snow White's only chance. Her only chance to live a happy life. Her only chance for success. The only way she will overcome her tragic beginning.

Doesn't change the fact that I am rooting for failure.